The Private Club Member Lifecycle: Balancing Legacy and Future

Few people understand the private club world like Kris Butterfield Cance. She has spent more than a decade inside membership offices, boardrooms, and staff spaces. Today she leads People and Culture at La Cumbre Country Club in Santa Barbara, yet her thinking is still shaped by years in the membership director’s chair. That dual lens makes her unusually equipped to talk about a challenge clubs can no longer avoid.

Private clubs are aging. Waitlists are shrinking. Younger families are joining with expectations that look nothing like the ones boomers held for decades. And unless clubs adapt with intention, many will feel a decline long before they see it coming.

Why Generational Tension Became Impossible to Ignore

For years, clubs have navigated an uncomfortable divide between tradition and modern expectations. That divide widened after the pandemic, when clubs experienced a rush of new demand at the same time longtime members resisted change.

Some members continue to push for elaborate, high-cost legacy events. Others want the club to operate the way it did twenty or thirty years ago. Younger families, however, are looking for an entirely different type of value. They care less about one-night celebrations and more about the everyday experiences that make the club feel like part of their routine.

“It’s really hard to be progressive and traditional at the same time,” Kris explains. And that tension sits at the center of nearly every club conversation today.

What Younger Members Actually Value

There’s a misconception that younger members want flashier events or more entertainment. Kris sees something different. Younger families want belonging, flexibility, and a sense of ease woven into the member experience. They want opportunities to participate together and separately without feeling boxed into one version of “family use.” 

That shows up in the details. A family-friendly New Year’s celebration earlier in the day. A Valentine’s dinner where parents enjoy the dining room while children make crafts in the grill. Seasonal festivals that welcome every generation without forcing them into the same activity.

Prospective members don’t join because the club hosts a spring gala. They join because the tour shows them Adirondack chairs overlooking the eighteenth hole, thoughtfully designed kids’ spaces, a pool area that feels like a retreat, and small touches that make everyday use feel comfortable. These are the moments that signal belonging. They are also the moments that turn interest into membership.

The Membership Math That Will Define the Next 20 Years

Behind all of this is a larger demographic shift. Between now and 2045, the United States will experience the largest generational wealth transfer in its history. Boomers are aging out of clubs while Millennials and Gen Z families are stepping into a season of financial stability. Their choices will reshape the private club landscape.

Many clubs still rely on waitlists created during the pandemic surge, but those lists are deceiving. Some are aspirational. Some contain prospects who will never convert. And nationally, more clubs now need members than have too many.

This transition goes beyond preference. It determines the long-term health of private clubs. The clubs that modernize intentionally will adapt to the next era. The ones that resist will struggle to remain relevant.

What Successful Clubs Get Right

Kris points to her former club, Bethesda Country Club, as an example of getting the transition right. Leadership invested in amenities for every demographic, balancing the needs of long-tenured members with the expectations of young families. The result was a membership base that resembled a healthy bell curve instead of a top-heavy roster.

That balance is more important than many boards realize. If every member falls within the same decade of life, they tend to use the club at the same time and for the same reasons. That creates operational strain. A balanced membership spreads out usage patterns and stabilizes the community.

The real obstacles are often structural. Bylaws limit who can serve on the board. Caps lock clubs into outdated numbers. And cultural norms around “the way we’ve always done it” prevent necessary change.

Why the Boardroom Matters More Than Ever

Younger members want modern programming, flexible spaces, and clear communication. Yet many boards are still composed of members who joined in a different era. Kris sees this disconnect often, and she’s quick to point out that the solution isn’t to force younger adults into governance overnight. It’s to broaden the board’s visibility. 

Additionally, she suggests allowing younger members to sit in as non-voting participants, invite board leaders to meet prospective members earlier in the process, and give senior staff insight into strategic conversations so they can guide members accurately.

“When a board meets fifty new members and hears the same reasons again and again (why they joined), the direction of the club becomes obvious,” she says.

This isn’t about replacing one group with another. It’s about giving decision-makers a clearer understanding of who the club is attracting and why.

Culture Begins With People

Kris’s shift into her role as Director of People and Culture has reinforced a belief she’s held for years. Membership sets the cultural tone, but staff carry it every day. A single staff member with influence can shape attitudes across the club. If they misunderstand the club’s direction, members will feel that misunderstanding too.

That is why internal transparency matters. Staff should understand the club’s mission, values, and priorities. They should be equipped to guide conversations, manage expectations, and represent the culture the club wants to build. Kris even integrates mission and values into staff reviews to ensure alignment remains consistent. Strong culture doesn’t emerge from a document. It emerges from consistent behavior.

The Question Every Club Should Be Asking

Kris ends with a reminder that simplifies everything leaders are wrestling with today: “All of the answers are already within your walls. You just need the courage to look.”

• Why are new members joining?
• How do they use the club?
• What spaces do they gravitate toward?
• Where do they feel friction?
• What moments make them feel at home?

Clubs that ask these questions will build a membership that is balanced, engaged, and future-ready. Clubs that avoid them will feel the impact later, when it’s far harder to course-correct.

Generational transition isn’t a challenge to survive. It’s an opportunity to define who the club will become.