Behaving Badly at the Club: Inside the Cultural Shift

Your club is not unique. We’re hearing the same issue again and again at clubs around the country. Generational conflict. In turn that is leading to culture problems which is leading to board disruption, member disagreements and in some cases member expulsion. Maybe it started with music on the golf course, or a special favor for a longtime member. Whatever the case, the issue is the same and it’s leading to PR issues for a lot of clubs.

In most cases, these situations are not a crisis. But when club leaders dismiss them, or undervalue them could be waking into a self-inflicted trap. The generational friction building inside many private clubs is real, and leaders who haven't thought through how to manage it will find themselves reacting instead of leading. That's a hard position to recover from.

What’s Behind the Demographic Shift at Clubs?

By many counts, the math on club demographics shifted during the pandemic. In the early days of the pandemic, clubs became nervous, changed admission standards and welcomed a wave of members, many of which were young families with kids, dual-income professionals who wanted a safe place to belong. The timing was good for membership numbers, and continues to stay strong compared to the years before the pandemic. On the other hand, the cultural implications are still being sorted out.

One of the remarkable social shifts that has occurred in the same timeframe is a broader erosion of institutional trust that younger generations have grown up with. They came of age watching contested elections, a global pandemic managed differently by elected authorities, and institutions that often didn't explain their reasoning clearly. They refuse the argument of "that's how we've always done it." And that instinct, right or wrong, doesn't get checked at the gate.

Let’s add in another factor. Board composition at most clubs skews older. That's not a knock on anyone, we just know that board members tend to be long-tenured members with time, energy, and institutional knowledge that's genuinely valuable. But the gap between who governs the club and who represents the future of clubs is widening. As Ryan Doerr, president and CEO of Strategic Club Solutions, wrote in BoardRoom Magazine's January/February 2026 issue, every demographic values the club differently, yet all expect excellence. Meeting those layered expectations without compromising financial integrity, he argues, is the defining challenge of the next decade.

Meet Your Members Where They Are

If the club's primary communication channel is a printed newsletter and a bulletin board near the pro shop, a segment of your membership has already checked out before the conversation starts. Younger members live on their phones. Information finds them through social media, text messages, email. When they don’t get the message, like all of us, we assume the worst. As the saying goes, in the absence of information, people make up their own story and it’s usually not good.

Remember, overcommunicating is not a weakness. Transparency about board decisions, project timelines, policy changes, and the reasoning behind them, is a good thing. A member who understands the reasoning behind a proposed capital assessment can be a lot more forgiving than the guy who first heard about it from another member in the parking lot. When members feel informed, they feel included. When they don't, suspicion sets in fast and trust is slow to return.

Audit Your Processes

This one is harder, but it matters more than most leaders want to admit. Ask yourself whether there are informal arrangements that have accumulated over the years. These practices are insidious, like the longtime member who greases palms to get preferred tee times. Or inconsistent governance that leads to perceived favoritism, even when the board is trying to make the best decision. These arrangements usually start innocently enough. However, over time, they are the kind of perception issues that erodes trust with newer members who came in with their suspicion already running high.

So, document your policies and apply them consistently. If the rules say hats come off in the dining room, that applies to every member, including the ones who have been around for thirty years. Consistent enforcement protects the board from the accusation of playing favorites — the kind of accusation that spreads fast and dies slowly.

Doerr puts it plainly: strong clubs lean into their culture and brand promise as the compass for difficult decisions. That only works when the culture is actually lived rather than just printed in an orientation packet.

Create Programming for All

A common trap clubs fall into is programming that quietly signals which generation the board is really serving. Legacy members notice when everything new caters to younger families. Younger members notice when their preferences are consistently deprioritized. Both groups talk, and both groups will voice their concerns.

The clubs that manage these tensions are the ones that find ways to bring a 35-year-old and a 70-year-old into the same room. Pickleball, bowling, multigenerational dining events, junior programs that give parents a reason to engage are all examples. These can create connective tissue across demographics rather than catering to one at the expense of the other. When members of different generations share experiences, the friction has less room to grow.

Evaluate Your Disciplinary Policies

Here’s where boards often find themselves flat-footed. Behavioral conflicts between members are becoming more common. Generational friction occasionally escalates into something that requires a formal response. When that happens without preparation, boards are scrambling.

Club law attorney Robyn Nordin Stowell of Spencer Fane LLP laid out a clear framework in the same BoardRoom issue: before a discipline issue arises, review your bylaws and know your state statutes. Most states have specific due process requirements governing suspension or expulsion. She says these are things like required notice periods, hearing procedures, and member rights. If your bylaws are outdated, overly complicated, or inconsistent with current best practices, fix them now. Waiting until a complaint is in hand is waiting too long.

Stowell also makes the case for a clear code of conduct that covers specific rules, general behavioral expectations, and defined consequences. Members who know the rules in advance have less grounds to claim unfair treatment. Boards that follow documented procedures consistently are in a far better position if a dispute escalates.

One thing Stowell raises that boards should take seriously: confidentiality around discipline matters is a real obligation. Discussion should happen in meetings, not in emails or texts that can become discoverable in litigation. As they say, loose lips sink ships. It feels like a technicality until it isn't.

Not a Passing Phase

Generational conflict inside private clubs isn't a phase. The Baby Boomer generation continues to age, and the very large Millennial and Gen Z population is stepping into the membership gaps. Clubs that manage this transition well won't be the ones that picked a side, they'll be the ones that built trust across generations by governing with transparency, communicating consistently, and creating space where multiple kinds of members find genuine value.

Of course, that's harder than it sounds. But boards willing to do that work now are leading clubs that are positioned for the long term, rather than managing the fallout from conflicts that could have been anticipated and mitigated.